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« What do they know? | Main | The only language they understand? »

December 28, 2006

Mystery man detained

Santa A man was detained after a  hair-raising rooftop chase in the early hours of Monday morning and is now helping police with their enquiries at Edmonton police station.

The man is described by police as elderly, but nevertheless fled from roof to roof until cornered by officers. He is believed to be of Turkish origin, though now claiming residency in Greenland, and faces a potentially lengthy charge sheet including multiple charges of breaking and entering, reckless driving, exceeding the speed limit, driving while under the influence, driving without insurance or an MoT certificate, and endangering aircraft.  His unorthodox conveyance was piled high with goods, leading Inspector Ebeneezer Scrooge of Edmonton CID to comment that "we can either do him for nicking the stuff from the places he broke into, or if it turns out he didn't we can hand him over to the customs boys for smuggling!". Greenland is not part of the EU.

Police are also considering charges of cruelty to animals and transporting livestock across a border without the relevant paperwork. Anti-slavery International are also believed to have made allegations of sweated labour relating to the mystery man's Greenland operation, while the vice squad are investigating a number of cases of 'grooming' youngsters through the internet. They have successfully sought the co-operation of police in Greenland, who are believed to have seized computers and a large number of letters.

To add to the complexity of the investigation, police have been warned to expect extradition requests from several countries, Greenland among them. Inspector Scrooge refuses to let that worry him: "We got him first" he told our reporter, "and they'll just have to wait till he gets out - if he ever does". However, the USA have claimed that the man is an escapee from Guantanamo Bay, citing the clothes he was wearing at the time of his arrest as evidence, and insist that they thus have first claim. At the time of going to  press we were unable to confirm that the unmarked plane which landed yesterday at Stansted and has been parked on a remote part of the airfield ever since is in any way related to this claim.

December 28, 2006 in Events |

Comments

les

I assume he is being held at Belmarsh.

Posted by: les | December 29, 2006 at 01:32 PM

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About EBUNA

  • Debating climate change in the Security Council
    Education lies at the heart of the UNA's work. On 25th November branch members took part in a long-planned Model UN Security Council event with Year 12 students at Broomfield School in Enfield. In role as national delegations, NGOs, UN agencies and corporate interests, the students debated emergency climate change issues, including carbon emissions and refugee policy. We hope they learned something about the UN, something about climate change and something about negotiating. We certainly did!

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